Motley Talk about the village fete
Instructions for how to organise your own English Village Fete.
Dear Motley Officers, Crew & Friends, for those of you who have been with me since before Substack, you will recognise this article, with some new illustrations. I hope you will enjoy it again and forgive the repeat, life just got too busy (and hot) for research this week.
For centuries every country has held markets & fairs, big gatherings & small. In England as well as markets, we have the quintessentially English village fete; it even inspired the TV programme The Great British Bake Off.
Surprisingly, the English village fete is not an old tradition, it originated after the First World War (1914-18), when ‘sales of work’ (homemade objects) were sold to raise funds for war veterans, widows and orphans. This became the modern summer village fete. It is essential that a village fete contain certain components, and in case you should ever be involved in organising a fete, I can give you some advice.
However small your fete or your village, you will need a committee. All busybody, cantankerous and interfering village folk should be on the committee, so that the affairs of the fete entertain the village throughout the winter. It really does not matter what the committee decide, since the fete will proceed in the way it always has, and if anyone should change any part of it, the sky will fall on their heads.
The fete usually raises funds for a local charity. Often the charities chosen are obvious, but it might be worthwhile suggesting a totally inappropriate and rather shocking idea, in order to keep the committee discussions lively.
The fete should be held on the village green or, if the charity is for the church (say for a new roof) then it may be held on the church grounds. Parking will always be a heated discussion in the committee, and the old lady who has the cottage with the blue door just off the village green, will again complain again about “inconsiderate folk”.
Decorations should be made in good time. Bunting is usual, though incomers (anyone who has not lived in the village for at least 50 years) may face objections when they suggest they make new bunting with pretty floral material. The old bunting, made to celebrate the end of World War 2, has always been good enough, thank you.
Traditional entertainment is expected. For instance, a brass band (the out-of-tune local school band if possible), a Punch & Judy show and / or Morris Dancers. There is nothing like men with fancy hats and bells on their legs, who flutter white handkerchiefs while banging sticks together, to announce, “this is an English village fete”.
There are unlikely to be funds to pay for outside stalls & games, but there should be considerable expertise within the village. Whilst these are usually time-honoured roles, sycophantic compliments should be paid to those villagers, in order to obtain their services for another year. Suggesting that other people provide these services will lead to bloodshed, and no jury will convict the perpetrator, as they had reasonable justification for violence.
Suggested games for the fete are:
Coconut Shy. Three coconuts are balanced on poles and the paying punter tries to knock off all three in order to collect a prize. It is considered poor sport to nail the coconuts to the poles. Hoopla is similar but one throws a ring over a prize that always looks slightly bigger than the hoop (but really, really shouldn’t be).
Tug of War. Pulling a rope between two teams who both try to pull the other team over a central point. Make sure there is a respected and wise referee, especially for the kids Tug of War, as parents can be defensive and argumentative.
Another game is Hook a Duck, where floating ducks with numbers on the underside can be caught on their hook, for prizes. The water the ducks float in should not be too deep, in case children fall in. Alternatively, make the water deep so children fall in, and then charge extra.
As you have appreciated by now, prizes for games and the obligatory raffle are important to the success of the fete. They are usually donated for free. Appointing a prize gatherer with a persuasive & fearsome character early on, should ensure adequate supplies.
Stalls are important and local handicraft stalls should be encouraged, however wonky and unfinished the goods. Villagers will be kind, even if they don’t buy much. A White Elephant stall contains donations of things people no longer want, but (astonishingly) other people buy. According to legend, the King of Siam gave rare white elephants to courtiers who had displeased him. It was a gift that could not be refused but the cost of keeping the animal was ruinously high.
There should be food & drink stalls. While beer should be available, that fine adult cordial Pimm’s1 should also be for sale, at an outrageous price. Pimm’s is easily glugged down. If you are lucky enough to have a sunny day, and a little alcohol, you will have a successful fete.
Vegetable and baking competitions are the highlight of the year for many villagers. Don’t mess this up! A healthy dose of competition is good but occasionally a life-long feud can result, so judging should be taken very seriously. For an understanding of the stakes involved, watch the Wallace & Gromit movie ‘The curse of the Were-Rabbit’2. Try to select unimpeachable judges with no hidden agendas (this is hard because there is always a hidden agenda in a village).
Now you are well on your way to organising a successful village fete. The fete will take place on either a rainy day or during a heatwave, so everyone can complain about the weather. Nothing should stop the fete, unless there is a pandemic, but we have not had one of those for a hundred years, so you should be okay.
Trevor Mitchell has kindly given permission for the use of his painting of a Village Fair. Please Note: reproduction of any image shown in this article may not be made for any reason whatsoever without the artist’s permission - copyright remains with the artist. Click here for Trevor’s website and contact details.
As always, any links are provided to give the reader more information. I do not make any money from these links. If there is an issue with copyright, please contact me. I am an amateur historian covering a wide range of subjects. I do careful research using secondary sources (books, articles, videos and a little bit of Wikipedia). If there are any mistakes I apologise, and please let me know.
Pimm's No 1 is an English brand of a gin-based fruit cup. There have been other Pimm’s (numbers 2 to 7), all with a different alcohol base, but they are not available nowadays. Pimm’s is very easy to make and even easier to drink. Don’t skimp on the vegetation in the drink, stuff the glass full for an authentic Pimm’s. Click here for a recipe.
Click here for a clip from Curse of the Ware Rabbit. It is a 2005 stop-motion-animated film produced by DreamWorks Animation and Aardman Animations; very English and very funny.